Tuesday, December 8, 2009

connection.communication.

lately, I've spend a lot of my time reading. keep trying to find the connection between the beginning and the end of the story. i guess the reason why i've keep doing this is not the matter of want or need anymore. it's more about what i get from it. i'm not sure i can justify anything that i do with what i want and need anymore.

i've manage to read 2-3 book a weeks now and a lot of them is about the story of life. perseverance is the word that keep ringing in my ears. perseverance. persistence. people can say what they want to say but action speaks louder than words. somehow, whatever you hold true to yourself can be seen by your action. it's true what people say; talk is cheap.

almost from all the book that i read, i can slowly grasp the idea of what the point of having someone that you can call a friend. i can always see and understand more about myself when i'm in a conversation with my friends. i can always try to understand the subtext, the pretext of the conversation but the bottomline, when two people who know each other, talking to each other, there always an effort from one of them to get to know the other one more throughout the conversation. the more you talk to your friends, the more you get to know them.

almost all the psycho analysis of the character that i read come from the idea of understanding. the author seem to understand what the idea behind the character and their functions. almost all the character understanding come from conversation, either with someone else or themselves.

i've been reading all week and i've been talking to myself, trying to pick all the thought that have a thing to do with perseverance, persistence that come from conversation and somehow shine the light on a new understanding about connection. communication.

we are all connected by communication. without communication, we disconnect.

*
Q: you think a lot, do you?
A: yeah.
Q: why?
A: I'm not sure. i guess i'm preparing myself.
Q: for what?
A: life.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

figments of the past and present...

Total = RM 23

ma

Whenever I run
Whenever I run to you lost one
It's never done
Just hanging on

The past has let me be
Returning as if dream
Shattered as belief

If you have to go don't say goodbye
If you have to go don't you cry
If you have to go I will get by
Someday I'll follow you and see you on the other side

But for the grace of love
I'd will the meaning of
Heaven from above

Your picture out of time
Left aching in my mind
Shadows kept alive

If you have to go don't say goodbye
If you have to go don't you cry
If you have to go I will get by
I will follow you and see you on the other side

But for the grace of love
I'd will the meaning of
Heaven from above

Long horses we are born
Creatures more than torn
Mourning our way home

Sunday, November 29, 2009

500 days

video

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

*

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

byk soal...

Q: pintu ni mmg selalu terbuka ke?
A: yup.
Q: sapa2 pun boleh masuk?
A: yup.
Q: ada org tak kat dlm tu?
A: ada...
Q: ye ke? mcm takde org je ni?
A: aku penah cuba tutup pintu ni tapi tak kunci.
org tu keluar masuk mcm tu je la.
Q: nape tak kunci?
A: kunci bukan ada kat aku.
Q: aku nak masuk tgk2 boleh tak?
A: tgk2 boleh la. jgn usik barang2 dlm tu dah la.
Q: kenapa?
A: barang2 kat dlm tu dah penah pecah. aku gam balik tu. bukan tahan sangat tu.
kau usik2 nanti, pecah balik. jenuh aku nak gam balik.
Q: mcm gelap je kat dlm tu.
A: bawak lampu suluh la.
Q: mana suis lampu?
A: aku selalu tak pasang lampu. aku tau semua barang2 tu ada kat mana.
Q: dlm gelap2 tu kau tau barang2 tu ada kat mana?
A: ye la. aku tak penah ubah pun barang2 kat dlm tu. mcm tu je dari dulu.
Q: susah la camni. kau je tau barang2 tu kat mana. taknak aku masuk.
nanti terlanggar brg2 kau tu.
Q: taknak masuk...tak payah la masuk.
A: tapi mcm interesting je.
Q: interesting ke?
A: ye la.
Q: suka hati kau la. malas aku nak layan kau ni.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

the city & home

I startle.
it's the fucking car horn.
it's almost 9am.
i've manage to get only 1 hours of sleep since i manage to fall asleep again.
4 hours total and i guess that's enough rest for now.

go to wake up.
got places to go.
things to do.

kelana jaya: 8:47 am : 12/11/09

*

it's 8am and it's raining.

i'm hungry.

i wash my face.
brush my teeth.
put on a clean shirt & shorts,
start my car and i'm off to get breakfast.

finish breakfast.

got nuthin to do.
no place to go.

so i stop here.

Taiping: 9.12am : 22/11/09

Friday, November 13, 2009

a waltz

30 is not a reminder or a warning or a sign or a tap on your shoulder...

it's not an alarm or a wakening or a stop sign...

30 is just a number....